As we navigate through the daily stresses of life, sometimes we encounter the unexpected. My mother passed away a couple of months ago and I was at a loss and grief definitely set in.

Overwhelming emotions hit like a tidal wave. I had a great relationship with my mom and I was at a loss for words. Emotional tension became present as to how to approach such a huge loss in my life.

What Is Grief?

Grief is a deep sorrow that is seen when someone passes away. In order for me to process I needed to understand what I was going through. My father passed away 3 years previously and I felt I had made good progress dealing with his loss. Now my mother passes and I felt like I was heading backwards. What is it going to take for me to have peace in my life?

Grief sometimes is accompanied by guilt, anger, regret, blame and many other negative thoughts. The key for me was to identify what really was at the core of my feelings. I had to find out what really was bothering me and then reasoning with myself and others to build on positivity.

I had anger present and it bothered me. Here are some things I identified:

• I was angry she passed
• I was hurt that we didn’t get to do the things we planned
• I was sad I missed on chances to spend more time with her
• I was frustrated as to why such a good person was taken from my life
• I was depressed that my mother, father and grandmother were gone and I really miss them

Write It Out

As you see above, I had to really identify what I was thinking. It hits different when you think these things, but actually seeing them on paper makes you question why you feel that way.

One key discovery I found was that the better I was able to point out what was on my mind, the better the advice was from friends and family. For example, I have a beautiful girlfriend that was really able to address each point with wise advice. It helped because it was targeted to what I was encountering at the time.

Writing is also a great form of expression and I relied on doing things I loved to express self. Be true to you and channel your emotions in your art, hobbies, passions and experiences.

Meditate/Pray

Meditation is the foundation of this website. I found peace in meditating during the most difficult times in my life. The goal I had in mind was to reduce suffering that is self inflicted. We make our minds feel what we tell it. Why not tell it to be at peace during such a difficult time. The key is to try. The feelings are overwhelming and being happy is easier said than done. However, many people don’t even try and this is for you.

You owe it to you and the ones you’ve lost in your life to fight and be a better version of self. Start a small meditation routine that can include you just sitting quietly with yourself for 10 minutes. Find the stillness within you and breathe for it is the life force we were blessed to have.

Pray. Find peace in your religion. Prayer is at the core of many people’s lives. Prayer provides love, peace, reflection and connection. I found my faith get stronger as I reflected and meditated. I am Catholic and prayer had been an on and off practice for me. I found as I reconnected I saw the power of God in my life and the beauty this world has to offer. Find what you connect with and Pray if that makes you comfortable. The key is seek peace in your spiritual/religious journey.

Gratitude

The one thing that death has taught me is how many times we forget how grateful we should be in our daily lives. Appreciation should be a daily routine. What a gift we have to impact others, enjoy our lives and love.

I began practicing gratitude everyday by creating a morning routine where I list 3 people or things I am grateful for and repeating that at night. Takes little time but has a profound impact.

I am grateful for my niece, my girlfriend, my brothers, my loved ones, my music talent, my future, my home, and my life. These are just some examples of how to get started.

Be Proud of Starting Your Journey!

Just start and explore. Be kind to yourself and don’t judge yourself. Begin and find a comfortable routine that takes you out of your comfort zone and begins your quest for peace and happiness. Small steps towards better days.